/begin feelingsy ramblepost
Christmas tends to be a bad luck magnet for me. Alas, this year was no different in that sense. How it was different makes up for it though. I got to be a part of a pseudo family. I got to watch a kid open presents from his parents, coparent and myself. A kid I really adore. It’s a good feeling to see such a bright little smile, even if it is accompanied by a miniature drum set at 8 am.
I don’t really enjoy my family visits at Christmas every year. I feel awkward and like I don’t belong, mostly. This year was the first that it hardly bothered me because the whole time I had someone that really understands me by my side. He deals with my insane families with a smile and a horrible joke. I didn’t feel alone this year. I just felt lucky. I finally feel comfortable being me because he appreciates every bit of me, it seems. The good, the bad, the awkward. It’s the best feeling in the world to know I’m not alone and I can be myself. Despite everything, all the stress and problems of this year, I wouldn’t take back a second of time I had with him. Next year will have its ups and downs and we’ll get through those, too. I’ve got everything I need in him.
